 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
The Burned Fur Movement
began in 1998, formed by members of the "furry community" who dealt
primarily in drawing anthropomorphic artwork, and/or were admirers of
said creations. Not long after it was formed, the list of Burned Furs
began to grow as more people pledged themselves to the cause. They were
dedicated to cleaning up the image of Furries, starting with the
largest concentration of them: the internet.
It didn't take long to get notices. In 1999 a counter-movement, calling
themselves the Freezing Furs, rose up from the very dregs of the
Community that were singled out for perverting the fandom. The Freezing
Furs rallied up support from the fandoms that had lampreyed onto the
Furry ideal (such as Therianthropy), and began to raise "awareness" of
their rights in the Furry Community. The arguments against the Burned
Fur Movement cited malicious intent toward deviant furries on whole,
and claimed that they were indeed the ones being embarrassed.
Much flaming and bitching ensued, and it began to dawn on the
idealistic Furries that the effort to save the fandom would be a lost
cause. Some members left the community entirely, turning to other
outlets of creativity, so as not to soil their professional name.
Others simply removed themselves from the concept of being Furry on an
individual basis, and continued quietly into the night. The Burned Fur
Movement was not defeated - it simply stopped kicking the dead horse.
Today, the concept of being a Furry implies all manner of sexual
perversions, from beastiality (under the less-offensive name of zoophilia),
to Fursuiters, to plushophilia. The war is over, the battle is lost, the
Furries won...but it wasn't for lack of trying. This is why I've posted
this section of LFS, to let others know that there once were Furries
who didn't jive with the idea of sucking off the family pets; some of
us really were just there for the cartoons.
Yasei
The following article is the original Burned Fur
Manifesto, written by an excellent artist and activist who not only had the good
sense to jump ship before it all sank, but she warned me to get the Hell out as well. Thank you and good luck, you mad purple rat,
wherever you are. |
|
This
Sordid Little Business
aka The Furry Manifesto
by Squee Rat
I remember when being a pervert was a bad thing.
If you were warped, you tried to hide it, and good for you if you did.
If you were going to polish your rod to autopsy photos or bugger a
Shetland pony, you did it in the privacy of your own sick, sad home. No
one else, especially not me, had to know, and that was great. The best
part was, if you decided to crawl out on the roof and inform the
neighborhood via midnight megaphone that being urinated on got you hot,
you would be told, in no uncertain terms, how very diseased you were.
Most people I know don't have too much trouble distinguishing between a
"lifestyle choice" and a "warning sign." Yep, in many parts of the
world, the idea of making love to Andy Panda is still regarded as
somewhat misguided. Most parts, that is, except "Furry Fandom."
I don't know what the hell happened here.
"Live and Let Live" is an excellent, tree-hugging philosophy, but it
doesn't do much when the ones you refuse to kill are dragging you down
with them. If you like animal-based stories, cartoons, or art, you're a
furry. And like it or not, "Furry" means "Pervert." This didn't come
out of nowhere, either.
To me, and a lot of other people, "Furry" simply means a fondness for
animal-human combinations in art, movies, books... whatever. If you're
biased towards Redwall novels, have a soft spot for Anime "cat girls,"
or can't drag yourself away from "The Secret of NIMH," chances are
excellent that you're at least *slightly* fur-inclined. That's pretty
cool by me. The Simple Definition is probably what started "furry
fandom" in the first place. But you would NOT believe some of the
baggage the term "furry" has taken on.
The most obvious one so far would be suspicions of
bestiality. This wouldn't a problem if the furs that did it weren't
so damn proud of it. For those of you that were out sick that day in
Sex Ed class, DON'T FUCK YOUR PETS. Raping Fido is a 100% BAD IDEA.
You're making us all look bad, Goddamit. Do you know what all the other
fandoms.. Trekkies, X-Philes, Lovecrafters... call Furries?
SKUNK-FUCKERS. And we have these morons to thank for it. "Zoophile" is
a cute way of saying "I violate animals for sexual gratification."
Period. It's not okay, It never was okay, and declaring yourself
"furry" doesn't give you the right to insist that any level of
bestiality is a part of the "furry experience."
Getting your rocks off on lower orders of the
animal kingdom is bad enough without your partner being licensed by
Disney. Yes indeedy, as we descend just a step deeper into Hell, we
stumble across the path of the Plushophile. That's shorthand for "I
find this Meeko doll intensely erotic." These are the people who use
FAO Schwarz as a singles bar. I don't know who decided that this was a
valid excuse for a sex life, but he probably still lives in his
mother's basement. You don't have to earn a degree in psychology to
figure out how thickly laden with sexual dysfunction the very concept
of Plushophilia is. How badly was your id stomped on to get you to the
point where you would consider wanking a child's toy? I'm not sure I
want to know. But I *DO* know Plushophiles have latched onto Furriness
like a swamp leech. When people call furries "perverts," THIS is the
kind of crap they're talking about.
Sigh... moving on.
Down, down, down we go... oh, look, the Seventh
Level of Furry Hell. Furry Lifestylers. Glee. We've got us some
self-righteous little pokers down here. Ya see, just drawing cartoon
animals or enjoying "Watership Down" doesn't make you furry. Nooooo,
you're not GOOD enough. You're not furry if it's just a hobby. If you
don't think you're the astrally projected soul of a wolf trapped in a
human body, or you don't answer the phone with a "meow," you're not
furry. Yep. Don't you feel terribly inferior now? Christ on a fire
engine, what some people will try and force on you. I've always found
the fact that 90% of Lifestylers consider themselves misplaced foxes,
wolves, dragons, lions, tigers, or something equally powerful and
noble, open to a special brand of mockery. Amazing coincidence how
fantastically superior they all were in their animal lives, isn't it?
Maybe if I occasionally came across a Lifestyler who claimed to be a
reborn cockroach, I wouldn't be so cynical. I'm sure Freud would have a
great, detailed explanation as to why people build up fantasy worlds
for themselves like this, but I'm content to call these types
Crackpots.
Slightly less obstinate but equally
buttock-chafing are the the random groups who try their damndest to
Super-glue a witch's brew of lycanthropy, shamanism, and veganism to a
once-enjoyable subculture. Don't misunderstand me; Werewolves are
fun. Role-playing a werewolf? Knock yourself out. Drawing werewolves?
E-mail me some pointers, I can't do 'em to save my life. Claiming to BE
a werewolf? SEEK HELP. You're not a werewolf. THERE ARE NO WEREWOLVES.
Anyone who claims to turn into a giant dog at the whim of a celestial
body should be mercilessly ostracized and laughed at with maximum
cruelty.
Then there's the matter of Spirit Animals. I
don't have one. I don't want one, I don't need one. And according to
some, that disqualifies me as a furry. Gee, didn't realize I had to
realign my entire belief system to ensure acceptance into an
already-decrepit fanbase. Once again, the question of personal tastes
intruding on a once-meaningful practice comes to mind. You'll find a
good thousand spastics claiming the protection of the Fox, But I've yet
to hear a furry fan thank the Earwig Spirit for his wisdom. Yes, I'm
taunting you. Cope.
And YES, there's even a special breed of nutboys
out there who insist a major component of Furriness is the practicing
of Veganism. For those of you who don't live in California, that's
the total shunning of all animal products. No eggs, no leather, no
beef, no fish, no clubbing baby seals until their skulls are soft and
dough-like. For reasons beyond my comprehension, THIS sort of
self-denial is supposed to put you "more in touch with your furriness."
God knows how. I've never seen a pride of lions abandon a mule carcass
to chase down a fleeing herd of Garden Burgers. Animals have a strange
way of mutilating OTHER animals. That's nature, welcome to it. And
there's nothing more furry and natural than gnawing some flesh, kids.
Human beings are omnivorous, and that means meat. If you don't believe
me, fetch yourself a mirror and smile. See those pointy things?
Canines. So enough with the tofu and bean sprouts, your Spirit Animals
are laughing at you.
And finally, we confront the long-held notion that
Furries secretly wish they WERE animals. I'm sure there are some
that do, but they're in the minority. Trust me. I'm rather fond of
being a Homo sapiens. I've grown quite attached to the idea of
opposable thumbs, full-color vision, and the dawning of self-awareness.
Space travel, Chinese food, swing dancing... the perks ain't bad,
either. No, I'm holding my own on this end of the evolutionary ladder,
thank you. Most furries are. But for the poor shmucks who want nothing
more than to transform into an elk or bear or something equally
ridiculous, a stay in an institution, not a fandom, is in order.
Whew. I think I'm done for now. Any survivors, Alpha Team? Heh. If
you've actually read this far, I must say I'm impressed. If I made you
mad, good. If you agree with me, even better. Either way, I want to
hear from you. Let me know what you think. Any and all mail received
may be posted and/or responded to at my discretion. |
|
|
I've come to one of two conclusions: There is no possible way there could be a God when people like this roam free without getting struck by lightning...or there is some higher being, and holy fuck he's a sadist.
Geoff Kelly
|
|
